La Mauricie

Getting out of Montreal is one of the pleasures of living in Montreal. Every so often, it is essential to leave the city and surround yourself with trees, rolling fields, and fresh air. So, we loaded up the car with all kinds of un-essential things and headed for the highway.

Now, I don't like driving in Montreal. For several reasons. Of course, everyone is driving on the right hand side of the road, which is confusing for me. No-one indicates, which raises the temperature of my blood somewhat; and no-one knows how wide their vehicle is. This results in people swerving wildly about the road to avoid things they worry they will hit, when in fact they have a good ten foot of clearance.

But I'm not going to get involved in a road-rage rant. Not now.

So we head east, and the traffic thins out eventually and we're left on a dual-lane highway that goes in a straight line for hours on end. There are trees on either side, and for long periods you can't see the traffic flowing in the other direction. This leads to moments of panic when you suddenly imagine you're in the wrong lane of a normal road, and accounts for yet more swerving.

I watch, idly, the jeep in front of me veer onto the emergency lane of the highway and then veer back onto the road just before hitting the grass verge. It then wanders into the left lane, and wobbles back only when about to hit the barrier. The driver is obviously drunk, or simply stupid.

Two hours later we finally enter the national park.

'La Mauricie'

We park in the visitors' centre and procure maps. We then pay $10 for the privilege of entering the countryside, which makes me slightly angry. I think the countryside should be free, personally.

But, it's quiet, and we don't see any people around, which is good, as far as I'm concerned. If you see entire families, pushing infants around, or old ladies with walking frames, then I know I'm not likely to enjoy myself.

Solitude. Fresh air. Peace. Quiet. Black bears.

Black bears?

I picked up a leaflet in the visitor centre entitled, 'You're in Black Bear Country!'

Yikes. The most dangerous thing in the countryside of England is, other people. Or perhaps an angry badger.

There are some tips:

'If you spot a bear on the side of the road, consider not stopping.'

'Do not surprise a black bear.'

'If you encounter a bear: Keep calm. Don't run. Give the bear space. Leave the area.'

The guide goes on to say that it isn't common for a bear to attack you, but if it does, then:

"...react aggressively and try to intimidate the bear. If this fails, fight back with anything at hand such as bear spray, rocks, sticks, knives or other possible weapons..."

So I enter the woods with my head full of images of bears bearing down on me (excuse the pun) and I, waving a stick in its face, screaming...

I shake my head and try to enjoy the flowers and bees. It's very pretty. It's quiet, we walk. We see a snake, a hare, some dragonflies, lots of birds, beetles, and mosquitoes.

Hmm. Quite a lot of mosquitoes.

All we have with us is a citronella spray, which I bemoaned at the time we bought it, saying, 'But it doesn't bloody well work.'

'It's better than nothing,' said the wife, and bought it anyway.

We applied a coating and walked on. The trail we took was 11km long, not too tough, as we only arrived at 2pm.

As we made our way on, the mosquitoes became worse. When we stopped to try and eat lunch, about five million of them descended upon us and proceeded to suck our blood in great haste. We, wailing, and waving arms, applied half of the bottle of citronella spray in one go.

It didn't help.

We took to waving cloths around, slapping them over our backs and heads, to keep the onslaught off a little.

Then the deer flies arrived.

They hover around you and refuse to go away, landing whenever you fail to notice them, and then taking a huge chunk out of your flesh, leaving a bleeding wound.

Ah, nature.

Don't get me wrong. I love nature. I have been in mosquito infested places all around the world... but... I usually try and carry some nasty chemicals to keep them away. Or, some long, baggy, light clothing to wear. But, we had none of this, and simply suffered a hundred bites as we walked.

Upon reflection, the day was wonderful. The countryside, views, trail, hike, flora and fauna (except the mosquitoes) made up for the discomfort, 100%.

http://www.canadianparks.com/quebec/lmaurnp/index.htm